I never thought this day would come, but I've finally done it. I've managed to purchase a set of enamel darkroom trays on eBay. Now all of our toiletries, condiments, spices and other household objects are kept in enamel darkroom trays.

My two previous attempts to purchase enamel darkroom trays on eBay ended with me being outbid at the last minute by what I'm told is a "sniper," a friend of the seller who lets your low bid stand for days and days until you believe yourself to all but posess the random piece of junk you are buying on eBay. Then in the last hour, the sniper jumps in and outbids you by $0.50. I keep imagining this sniper, sitting in a tree, picking off people's dreams of owning rare, unopened action figures one by one.

I was cautiously optomistic about these darkroom trays, though I tried not to get too excited until I received my congratulatory email from eBay. The trays cost me $1.50. The shipping and handling cost $20.00. The box cutter I bought to open all the boxes of things I order on the internet cost $6.99. But the feeling of owning something I coveted in a digital photograph on eBay was priceless.

Since I returned to the United States I've had no interest in almost anything but buying things, selling things and drinking champagne. It's as if some part of me has decided that if I have to live in this country, I'm going to take it to its natural extreme. Or at least party like it's almost Black Tuesday.

The other day I was saying to Rebecca, "I've got a million things to write and do, but all I want out of life right now is to shop for housewares on the internet."

"Go with it!" she said.

I'm going with it.